One for Dave cos he's Clever

[DaveW]

with a weakness for marzipan

[Ronnietheblue]

Like the rest of his clan

[DaveW]

Who leave their rooms spick and span

[Ronnietheblue]

and become his no.1 fan

[DaveW]

so arranged a strip-a-gram

[Ronnietheblue]

and after a wee dram

[DaveW]

then wheeled home in a pram

[Ronnietheblue]

where he ate smoked ham

[DaveW]

covered in raspberry jam

[Ronnietheblue]

And slices of battered spam

[DaveW]

while humming the music of Wham

[Ronnietheblue]

Trying his best to look glam

[DaveW]

with his handkerchief with monogram

[Ronnietheblue]

Which in his mouth he did cram

[DaveW]

with a giant garlic clam

[Ronnietheblue]

Who's shell it did slam

[DaveW]

when he tried to wham bam

[Ronnietheblue]

And thank you mam

[DaveW]

I off to Vietnam

[Ronnietheblue]

To visit auntie Pam

[DaveW]

On an island to which he swam

[Ronnietheblue]

from his big white Catamaran

[DaveW]

Searching for the missing Celtic man

[Ronnietheblue]

Who was locked in his caravan

[DaveW]

with his big rubber erasing all that he can

[Ronnietheblue]

Except for his false tan

[DaveW]

And swings through the trees like Tarzan

[Ronnietheblue]

Chewing on a leg of lamb

[DaveW]

Driving a Ford from Dagenham

[Ronnietheblue]

to his mums in vietnam