The magic bank a/c

[fatherted]

THE MAGIC
BANK ACCOUNT

THE AUTHOR IS
NOT KNOWN. IT WAS FOUND IN THE BILLFOLD OF COACH PAUL BEAR BRYANT, ALABAMA,
AFTER HE DIED IN 1982

The Magic Bank
Account


Imagine that you had won the
following *PRIZE* in a contest: Each morning your bank would deposit R86,400
in your private account for your use.  However, this prize has
rules:

The set of
rules:

1. Everything that you didn't
spend during each day would be taken away from you.

2. You may not simply transfer
money into some other account.

3. You may only spend
it.

4. Each morning upon awakening,
the bank opens your account with another R86,400 for that
day.

5. The bank can end the game
without warning; at any time it can say,“Game Over!". It can close the account
and you will not receive a new one.



What would you personally
do?

You would buy anything and
everything you wanted right? Not only for yourself, but for all the people you
love and care for. Even for people you don't know, because you couldn't
possibly spend it all on yourself, right?

You would try to spend every
penny, and use it all, because you knew it would be replenished in the
morning, right?

ACTUALLY, This GAME is REAL
...

Shocked
YES!

Each of us is already a winner
of this *PRIZE*. We just can't seem to see it.

The PRIZE is
*TIME*

1. Each morning we awaken to
receive 86,400 seconds
as a gift of
life.

2. And when we go to sleep at
night, any remaining time is Not credited to us.

3. What we haven't used up that
day is forever lost.


4. Yesterday is forever
gone.

5. Each morning the account is
refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time WITHOUT
WARNING...

SO, what will YOU do with your
86,400 seconds?

Those seconds are worth so much
more than the same amount in dollars.  Think about it and remember to
enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than
you think.

So take care of yourself, be
happy, love deeply and enjoy life!


Here's wishing you a wonderful
and beautiful day. Start “spending”....

"DON`T COMPLAIN
ABOUT GROWING OLD…!"

SOME PEOPLE DON'T GET THE
PRIVILEGE!

[Tamkid]

The best thing I have read on here for a long, long, long time. Nice one.

[erik_tonny]

Sure was worth a few seconds to read that.
Thanks for sharing.

[Magoo]

This is a good one as well

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.`

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed..

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important thingsâ€"-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passionsâ€"-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything elseâ€"-the small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls firstâ€"-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I`m glad you asked.` The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there`s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

[fatherted]

Nicely

[sorepaws]

The conundrum of Taxes

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100 ...

If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this ...

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay £1.
The sixth would pay £3.
The seventh would pay £7.
The eighth would pay £12.
The ninth would pay £18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay £59.

So, that's what they decided to do ...

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve ball.
"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by £20". Drinks for the ten men would now cost just £80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men? How could they divide the £20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

They realized that £20 divided by six is £3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).
The sixth now paid £2 instead of £3 (33% saving).
The seventh now paid £5 instead of £7 (28% saving).
The eighth now paid £9 instead of £12 (25% saving).
The ninth now paid £14 instead of £18 (22% saving).
The tenth now paid £49 instead of £59 (16% saving).


Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a pound out of the £20 saving," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, "but he got £10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a pound too. It's unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!"

"That's true!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get £10 back, when I got only £2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "we didn't get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is how our tax system works.

The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.

In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

[erik_tonny]

A great contribution !
Thank you very much. I'm going to translate this and send it to a major newspaper.
To whom may we give the tribute (copyright)?

[admin]

My brain hurts.

[Ivemovedon]

May be a joke as such but couldn't be more true.  Sounds a bit like the UK's EU membership.Keep hammering the main contributors and they may decide to leave the party.

[Can the Man]

Fantastic, I really love sore paws story.