Two lumberjacks.

[Keith Dean]

Two lumberjacks, Mark and his mate
Jim, were cutting wood when Jim accidentally
sawed his arm off. Mark carefully
wrapped the severed arm in a plastic bag
and rushed it and Jim to the nearest hospital.
"Your friend is in luck!" the surgeon
told Mark. "I'm an expert at reattaching
limbs. Come back in four hours."
When Mark returned four hours later
the surgeon said, "I got through the operation
much faster than expected. Your friend said to tell you that he has gone to
the pub." Mark found this news quite hard
to believe but he went to the pub, and,
amazingly, his friend Jim was enjoying a
pint and a game of darts.
A few months later, Mark and Jim were
sawing wood again when the accidentprone
Jim cut his leg off. Mark placed the
leg in a plastic bag and took it and Jim
back to the surgeon. The surgeon said,
"Legs are a little more complicated – come
back in six hours." Mark returned in six
hours and the surgeon said, "I finished
early – your mate said to tell you he has
gone to the park to play football." Mark
went to the local playing fields and, sure
enough, there was Jim, kicking a ball
about.
A few months later the hapless Jim had
yet another freak sawing accident and was
decapitated. Mark put the head in a plastic
bag and took it and the rest of Jim to the surgeon. The surgeon said, "Heads are extremely
difficult. Come back in twelve
hours." So Mark returned in twelve hours,
but was shocked when the surgeon told
him, "I'm sorry, your friend died."
"I don't understand, you said heads were
just difficult."
The surgeon replied, "No, the surgery
went well. I'm afraid your friend suffocated
in that plastic bag."