5* Hotel

[fatherted]

> SUBJECT: FW: Five Star Hotel
>
> -------------------------
>
> Someone, who recently went to Beijing, was given this brochure by the
> hotel. It is precious. She has kept it and reads it whenever she feels
> depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word
> from Mandarin into English ...
>
> Getting There:
> Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the
> hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in
> passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel,
> because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the
> entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new
> guests.
>
> The Hotel:
> This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are
> always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available
> in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to
> conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note
> that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize
> social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with themselves.
>
> The Restaurant:
> Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At
> dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle
> with you.
>
> Your Room:
> Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter,
> every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of
> outstanding obscenity! You will not be disturbed by traffic noise,
> since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by
> pederasts.
>
> Bed:
> Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have
> any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage
> of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and
> underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
>
> Above all:
> When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope.
> You will struggle to FORGET IT."