Father O'Malley

[Can the Man]

Father O'Malley, the priest in a rural Irish community, is celebrating 25 years in the job, so the community leaders organise a champagne reception with a modest buffet in the local town hall. Before the buffet is declared open, Father O'Malley is asked to make a short speech.

"My dear parishioners," Father O'Malley begins, "it's always a bit difficult when a priest has to make a speech. I have plenty of interesting anecdotes but, as you know, confessions I have heard must remain strictly confidential. I will try, however, to provide an example that gives away no secrets.

When I came to your community all of 25 years ago, I wondered straight away where on Earth I had landed. At my very first confession sitting, a young man came to me and confessed he had committed adultery with his sister-in-law and given her a sexually transmitted disease he had picked up from his daughter.

Well, I was shocked, but over the years, I have found out that this community is not bad at all and have realised that the young man in question was very much an exception."

This is greeted with a round of polite applause - just as the mayor enters the room, apologising profusely for being delayed in traffic.

It is the mayor's duty, of course, to reply to Father O'Malley and deliver some kind of eulogy, so he takes the floor.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I remember very well the time when Father O'Malley arrived here 25 years ago. I personally had the honour of being the first to confess my sins to our new priest..."