Larry

[dagwood]

A new teacher was  trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her  class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand  up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher  said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I  hate to see you standing there all by  yourself!'

Larry watched,  fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.  'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself  beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream  with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Larry 'Giving  up?'

The math teacher saw  that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him  and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Larry  quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon  Network!'

Larry's kindergarten  class was on a field trip to their local police station where  they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of  the 10 most wanted  criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and  asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,'  said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture  him.' Larry asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his  picture ? "

Little Larry attended a  horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved  from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's  legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked,  'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because  when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are  healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking  worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom  ....'