A few old ones

[TamaraEnLaPlaya]

I'm about to take part in the Great Bradford Run. It's not an official race, I just stand in the city centre & shout "Allah is a Tosser" & then off we go....

A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to England so that they can see their own doctor.
       

A Muslim has died whilst training to be a skydiver. The BNP School of Diving said they had no idea why his snorkel and flippers did not open.

Such an unfair world:- When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary).

Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though; she's number two at snooker.


Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area. I've called him Brixton.

If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine 'flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's spam.

They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.

A man brings his  best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work.
His wife screams at him as his friend listens in.
"My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking
tonight! What the hell did you bring him home for? "

"Because he's thinking of getting married..."