A couple more

[fatherted]

I knocked on my neighbour's door this morning and said, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've just hit your cat."

"Oh no," she cried, "Is he in a bad way?"

"Put it this way," I said, "My cricket bat snapped in half."

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For those of you wondering what it's like to be married...

I just found out this morning I'm on day 3 of an argument I didn't know I was having.

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"Father Michael!" I shouted to the elderly priest, "Father Michael! It's good to see you again."

"Hello Brian," he responded by taking my outstretched hand. "It's been a long time. I'm surprised you seem so pleased to see me.....after.....well, you know what happened the last time we were together."

I sensed his apprehension. "It's ok Father.. I don't blame you... It was my fault."

"I wish I could feel the same," he said quietly. "But I should have known better."

He turned his head away from me slightly and said quietly, "I'm really sorry. If it's any consolation, I ask God for forgiveness every single night."

"Seriously Father.. It wasn't your fault."

"It's nice of you to say so Brian, but I still feel terribly guilty."

"Don't," I replied, "I was the silly f**ker who asked her to marry me."