Bill’s elderly uncle died.

[Keith Dean]

Bill's elderly uncle died, and in the will
the uncle left him his much-prized African
Grey parrot. This parrot was fully grown,
with a very bad attitude and a very salty
vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive,
to Bill's frequent embarrassment.
Bill tried hard to change the pottymouthed
bird's attitude. He was polite, he
was careful not to swear in front of it, he
even played soothing, classical music – in
fact, just about anything he could think of
to try and set a good example. Nothing
worked. In sheer frustration he swore at
the parrot, but the parrot just came back at
him with more abuse, only this time it was
ten times worse. He shook the parrot, but
the bird just got angrier and more foulmouthed.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, Bill
put the parrot in the freezer to teach it a
lesson. For a couple of minutes he heard
the bird squawking, kicking and screaming
abuse. Then, suddenly, all was quiet. Bill
was frightened that he might have killed
his dead uncle's prized parrot and quickly
opened the freezer door. The chastened
parrot quickly hopped out of the freezer
and back into his cage, and said: "I am
truly sorry that I might have offended you
with my foul language and uncivil behaviour.
I most humbly beseech your forgiveness.
I will now, from this day, endeavour
to behave correctly and promise that such
an outburst of bad behaviour will never
happen again."
Bill was completely fabbergasted at the
bird's display of contrition. He was just
about to ask what had caused such a dramatic
change when the parrot interrupted:
"May I ask, what did the chicken do?"