Gimme a push

[duncolm]

A husband and wife were woken up at 3am by a loud commotion outside their house and a constant, loud pounding on their front door.
The man got up and went to the front door, where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain and howling wind, asked him for a push.
"A push?? No f****in' chance," said the husband, "it's 3 o'clock in the morning, sod off!"
He slammed the door and returned to bed.
"Who was that?", asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answered.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"Help him? No I did not. It's 3 o'clock in the morning and it's b***dy p***ing with rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," said his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when our car broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too you know."
The man stared at his wife, but he did as he was told. He dressed and went out into the biting wind and pouring rain.
He called out into the dark, "Hello? Hello? Are you still there?"
"Yes...........hic!", the drunk replied from the shadows.
"Do you still need a push?" the husband asked?
"Yes, please!...........Hic!" came back the reply from the drunk.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.


"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.............................