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[Keith Dean]

A man is browsing the small ads in his
local paper looking for a pet when he
comes across an advert: "Intelligent, adorable
golden Labrador – free to a good home."
He calls the number and arranges
to see the dog. When he arrives at the
house a man lets him in. The man asks the
owner "Does the dog have a pedigree?"
The owner replies: "Why don't you ask
him yourself. He's in the kitchen."
The man goes into the kitchen and sure
enough there is the dog, a very handsome
golden Labrador. Feeling a bit silly, he goes
along with it and says to the dog: "Do have
a pedigree?"
To his amazement, the dog replies. "Yes
I have a pedigree. I'm Kennel Club registered
and both my mother and father
have won best of breed at Crufts." The dog
continues, "I used to work for Customs and
Excise at Heathrow Airport and I've been
in several films and TV ads."
His mouth agape, the man turns to the
owner. "What an incredible dog. He talks
and he's been a top sniffer dog. I just don't
understand it. Why do you want to give
him away?"
"Because", the owner replies, "I'm sick of
his fu##ing lies."