Tech Support

[dagwood]

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to
Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.
In addition, Husband uninstalled many
other valuable programmes, such as
Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programmes such as Football, Golfing and Continuous TV.
Conversation no longer runs, and House
cleaning simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?
Desperate Housewife

........................................................................

Dear Desperate Housewife,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an
Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the
command: 'http: I Thought You Loved
Me.html' and try to download Tears.
Don't forget to install the Guilt
update. If that application works as
designed, Husband should then
automatically run the applications
Jewellery and Flowers, but remember...
over-use of the above application can
cause Husband to default to Grumpy
Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Better.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install
Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the
background that will eventually seize
control of all your system resources).
Also, do not attempt to reinstall the
Boyfriend programme.
These are unsupported applications and
will crash Husband.
In summary, Husband is a great system,
but it does have limited memory and
cannot learn new applications quickly.
It also tends to work better running
one task at a time. You might consider
buying additional software to improve
memory and performance. We recommend
Food and Hot Lingerie.
Good Luck,
Tech Support