Happy xmas Woe.This ones for you.

[dagwood]

A Canadian female libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the Canadian
government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents
(terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System
facilities.  She demanded a response to her letter correspondence.



She received back the following reply:



National Defense Headquarters

M Gen George R. Pearkes Bldg.,15 NT

101 Colonel By Drive

Ottawa,ON K1A 0K2

Canada



Dear Concerned Citizen,



Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of
treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces
who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are
currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National
Correctional System facilities.



Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were
heard loud and clear here in Ottawa. You will be pleased to learn, thanks to
the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department
here at the Department of National Defense, to be called 'Libertarians
Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. for short.



In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to
divert one terrorist and place him in your personal care. Your personal
detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily
armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday.



Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared
for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of
complaint!



It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We
will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for
Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your
letter. Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that
your sensitivity to what you described as his 'attitudinal problem' will
help him overcome these character flaws.



Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural
differences.  We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home
schooling.  Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand
combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or
nail clippers.  We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these
skills at your next yoga group.  Please advise any Jewish friends,neighbors
or relatives about your house guest,as he might get agitated or even
violent, but we are sure you can reason with him.  He is also expert at
making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products,
so you may wish to keep those items locked up,unless (in your opinion) this
might offend him.



Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually)
since he views females as a subhuman form of property thereby having no
rights,including refusal of his sexual demands.  This is a particularly
sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies
around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will
"recommend" as more appropriate attire.



I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over
time.  Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and
religious beliefs' as described in your letter.



Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you
keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow
man. You take good care of Ahmed and remember we'll be watching.



Good luck and God bless you,



Cordially,



Gordon O'Connor

Minister of National Defense

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BLOODY BRILLIANT !