The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.
So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.
Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!
At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"
The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"
A classic. I remember Dave Allan telling it back in the 70s.
;D
Aahh, Dave Allen, my favourite comedian, loved watching his show.
•I still think of myself as I was 25 years ago. Then I look in a mirror and see an old chap whose parents weren't married when he was born and realise it's me."
•Am I the Irish comedian with half a finger? No, I'm the Irish comedian with nine and a half fingers."
•"A good storyteller never lets the facts get in the way."
•"We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work - and then we retire. And what do they give us? A f**king clock."
•"I don't go out of my way to be outrageous, I just go out of my way to look at things."
•"I'm an atheist ... thank God."
•"I've stopped smoking ... I think the cost was a lot of it, and not being able to breathe. I first gave up smoking when I was eight."
•"If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment."
•"Don't mourn for me now, don't mourn for me never - I'm going to do nothing for ever and ever (what Allen said he would like to have inscribed on his tombstone)."
•"Goodnight, thank you, and may your god go with you".