With apologies to any one from Barnsley, in my defence it was sent o me by a guy from Castleford
Barnsley man goes to the vet:
Man: "Can yer stop me cat pissin' all rahnd t'house?"
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Man: "Nor, it's in t'basket"
Same Barnsley chap had an aged dog and decides before it passes away that he'd like a gold statue of the dog. The statue maker asks the bloke if he'd like the statue eightin carat to which the he answers
I'd prefer it chewing a bone