Fuerteventura Forum

            Teacher asks Billy; "If you have five sweets and Mohammed asks for one, how many will you have left?"

            Billy thinks for a moment then says "Five?”
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            Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Stella.
            Barman asks, "What's wrong with Stella?"
            Bloke says, "I had 12 pints of Stella last night and when I came round I was f***ing skint."

            Barman says, "12 pints of anything costs about the same."
            Bloke replies, "Skint's my dog.”
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            Wife says to husband "You only ever want sex when you're drunk"
            Husband says “ that's not true....... sometimes I want a kebab”
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            After the tsunami a Geordie and a Yank aid worker are helping out in Japan.

            Yank says, "You from round here, buddy?"
            "No," he replies, " Newcastle "
            "What State's that in?" asks the Yank.
            "Pretty much the same as this place!”
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            Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship...
            She replied "Wear a seatbelt and don't piss me off!”
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            A man approaches a young good looking assistant in M&S. He says" I can't find my wife, can I talk to you for a few minutes?"

            The assistant says "Sure but do you have any idea where your wife is?"
            "Not a clue" he says" But whenever I talk to a beautiful woman with tits like yours she appears out of nowhere!"

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            The Japanese government have thanked Britain for the rescue dogs they sent  out.
            They said they were delicious!
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            My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger.
            It was only when I had my trousers round my ankles that I realised she wanted to rent her spare room out!

             

The skint one was my favourite