Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really
doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
One more.. . .!
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled
himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he
ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'