Have a little chuckle at these: -
How important does a person have to be before they are
considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck
wearing the clothes you were buried
in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square
box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they
'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like
every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're
ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at
things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you
naked anyway...
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting
that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks
corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Why does Goofy stand erect while
Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is
made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little
Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Did you ever notice
that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride, he
sticks his head out the window?
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know
the
batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know
there is
not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but
check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal
injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but
ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If people evolved
from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the
bubbles are
always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people
constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down,
pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no
plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those
enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the
house as warm as it was in summer when
we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear
father-in-law jokes?
And my
FAVORITE.........
The statistics on sanity is that one out of
every four persons is suffering
from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends
-- if
they're okay, then it's you.